Monday, August 7, 2017

Overwhelmed again

I feel like the world just keeps crashing on me over and over and over again.  I think my nerves are so frayed that every little thing is just like Mt. Everest!

Today, Rain - so no work on the house.  No concrete.

Times for DD camp changed so I had to cancel an appointment I really need and now it looks like I will not be able to reschedule for 2 or more weeks.

I have to go clean out my grandmother's house next week.

I also have to move next week.

I am not liking how small our master bathroom is or how small the island has to be in the kitchen - basically walk spaces are too narrow - which bothers me greatly because now we cannot do anything about it and I wish our builder, the architect - someone would have explained this to me.  Size is so abstract when it is 2D.

Our awning on the RV is going.

My back is out (appointment I needed) and it is not getting better, worse.  My leg is going numb again.  If I start falling, that means I will be back in a wheelchair - this sucks.

I am getting heart palpitations daily.

The builder is getting on my very nerve - absent mostly, condescending - but that is probably my perception through my negative filter. 

This show is overwhelming the hell out of me. 

I just want all of this to be over so I can have a home and normalcy again.  Though the building has been going on for 4 months, we have been going full throttle since January.  I am tired - I cannot sleep - not in 2 days.  I try, but it is not happening.

I am looking forward to being in a house, but since I now have to clean out my grandmother's place - it is delayed about a week. 

My outlook will be better if I can get some sleep - let's all hope it comes tonight.


  1. Hang in there - you got this!! you are more done than not done :)

  2. What can you do about the kitchen at this point? I would go with no island to have walking space. The bathroom is not as important as the kitchen space. My legs are going numb, too. It is a scary feeling. Can you call and explain the situation? I called last Friday and got an appointment today instead of next week by asking if anyone had cancelled. I intend to do that with all my appointments that are too far out. I can understand the stress. sorry.

    1. We have to install the island because the sink and dishwasher is in it. I cannot change it. Master bathrooms here in Houston are VERY important.

      My problem is I do not have a disk between L4 and L5 and it compresses on the nerve that goes down my legs. With proper stretching, chiropractic work and walking, I can keep it at bay. Being in this RV though has made all that almost impossible. I cannot stretch in the RV nor exercise - outside is too hot - over 100 most days though I try to go out in the evenings. It is just not enough - no place for my yoga either. That is all about to stop though. I was in a wheelchair for 2 years because I would fall as I could not feel my leg. The fact that is starting to go numb again is worrying me. For me, that means the nerve is being compressed again.

  3. Two thoughts. Are you able to take a light sleeping pill (Tylenol PM)? I find that when my back is really acting up, it relaxes me enough to mostly sleep through the night. Like you, one night of catch up sleep really helps.

    It's definitely "throwing money at the problem", can you pay someone else to clean your grandmother's house? Someone who is less stressed/frazzled & healthier? How about one of your kids?

    1. No, we have to go through all of hers things - bills, paperwork, pictures, clothes, furniture. Yes, we will hire cleaners after we go through of her things.

      My older kids cannot go because of work and the younger ones are going to my sister's. I just don't need the stress of keeping them occupied, while I am going through pictures and scanning the good ones for everyone - I am going to grieve my grandfather all over again and grieve my grandmother. They should buck up, but this was a week my husband took off for us that has turned into this.