Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Mind Dump

You all are the sweetest people ever!  My goodness - the love was felt!

 I was able to get some rest last night - I did not even make it to 10 pm and stayed in bed until I was ready to get up.  I never sleep through the night, but I felt like I got better sleep than the past few nights.

Slow is the name of the game today.  I need to cook a bit for tomorrow, but I am going to wait until -D gets home - we can do it together.  Today is prepare the sweet potato pie, bake the pumpkin cake, devil the eggs, and shop for the last minute fresh stuff.  Really not bad at all. 

I am still drinking some coffee; it is cool in the house and tastes so good (yes, water in between).  I need to eat a little, but my stomach is just not there yet.  While I was watching some fun gift idea vlogs on youtube, I did a sort of mind dump to get what is in my head out and see in black and white what is bothering me.  In my head, it stays sort of like a tornado - one issue bleeding into another issue, bleeding into another - so that it seems much larger and complicated than it actually is.  Very cathartic to do this every now and then - at least for me it is.

One good thing - our 401(k) is valued over $90k!  I know it is low for our age, but we are so close to $100k I can taste it.  We will be there very soon - maybe not this year, but very early in the new year!  This gets me super excited!

Back to mind dump

1.  Mostly a list of to-dos.  Things that really are pretty easy and -D can help me with.  They will take several weekends, but they are all weekend projects.

2. Homeschool vs. Business.  This is a big one.  I am not sure how to manage both or go without one or the other.    Something has to give though.  This is a major talking through.

3.  Christmas - gifts, cards, etc.  Again, a quick talk and moving on - it will be simple this year - I think people will understand.

4. My work to finish and gifts to make.  I have decided NOT to make gifts for Christmas, BUT there are a few things I need to make as promised - a quilt made from my grandmother's clothes for my cousin (she cared for my grandmother and was executor - they were close), and the wolves for my step-father in-law's family.  I also WANT to make my oldest a quilt - as I have made for all my other children and I WANT to make my husband a quilt as I have already started it and family contributed!

Really those are the main categories.

What I am thinking with my business. 

I need to make the 5 quilts that are in my office right now.  Quickly.  Then, I don't stop the business, but go to zero marketing.  If something comes in - I will take it, if not, I sew for fun. 

Homeschool is very important to us, but them being on a high school level is very time consuming for me as the teacher.  They are involved in activities on top of an intense load. 

So, this is a big one - balancing them.  There may not be a great answer and it may be something we consistently "limp" through.

Anyway!  Are you already starting to cook for Thanksgiving?  I hope you have a wondeful, drama-free, cozy day with those you love!

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

It is actually Exhaustion

Yes, I have been diagnosed with exhaustion.  Seriously.  My blood pressure is up.  I am not sleeping well.  My nutrition is poor, but not because of my eating - my body is literally exhausted.

-D was getting worried about me being so tired, so I went in and yep, an official diagnosis.  I have to rest, eat well, take vitamins, exercise (but not to the point of exhaustion) and get the stress down in my life. 

So, I think for the rest of the year, we are not going to allow visitors. 

I am going to chill out.  Just spend as much time at home as possible, not booking early appointments if we HAVE to book them at all.  I am not going to take in any more work and Christmas is going to be low key.

I have to track my water intake and keep a food journal, but that should not be too hard. 

I was told to get a massage.  I am allowed to forgo blood pressure meds right now.  There was an unusually high reading for me, but it could be dehydration and the fact I am on decongestants.  So, we are waiting a couple of weeks and trying again.

Is anyone really surprised though?  I am not.  I know I have been running thin.  We need to have a family meeting though and really discuss expectations.  -D is going to freak, but we will get through this.

Let me tell you folks.  Clinical exhaustion is awful. It is beyond tired.  I am ready to be myself again.


Monday, November 20, 2017

Completely exahusted

The weekend was very long.  I love my elementary friends.  Don't get me wrong.  It was lovely to see her again after 21 years, however - it completely wore me out.

She did not want to do any of the things I had planned other than shop for Christmas items and decorate.  No antique shop, no movie.  So, we talked and talked and talked and talked.  Her interests are very different from mine.  She is extremely opinionated and our opinions are opposite.

She is not intelligent either and has no interest in learning, so it was difficult. I mostly just listened to her.  She wants to live in the past and that is just not something I am interested in.  However, it was nice to reconnect and talk about childhood a bit.  One day would have been good, but she was here for 3.  My whole family is just not used to that length.  I will do more in the future to curb that.

On to other things, my hormones are going CRAZY!  I am in peri-menopause and have been for about 2 years for sure.  I am very late and thinking I will skip this monthly visit.  We will see - no I am not pregnant. It still feels like I am PMSing though, so that sucks 2 weeks of PMS.

We did mostly set up Christmas decorations though.  The big tree needs to go up and I need to organize the Nutcrackers as well as get the outside wreath in shape.  The house really looks cozy with the 2 smaller trees, a garland on the mantle and the stockings. 

If I have not said before - we have 3 trees.  The big one is the family tree with all the ornaments from the kids and our lives over the years.  One of the smaller trees has ornaments from all the states we visited as well as the national parks and monuments.  The other smaller tree has the White House Historical Society ornaments that come out every year.  We have all of them.  They are gorgeous!

To recover, I am going to read and nap.  Probably nap first.